A Very Potter Retrospective
by Sugar Ray Dodge, RiffWiki.net Editor-in-Chief Well, it's been eight long years and eight long movies, (the last two being particularly painful,) but the most prolific feature series in the RiffTrax library, Harry Potter, has finally come to an end. Let us take a look back at the wizarding hijinks at Hogwarts through the time-honored tradition that is the retrospective, shall we? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2007) - For people like me who didn't get into Harry Potter until after all the stars were at least teenagers, seeing this movie for the first time with the RiffTrax was kind of a shock. They were all little tiny-baby people! And it's a friggin' kids' movie! Oh, and none of it makes a lick of damn sense. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2008) - This might be the single most British movie ever riffed at RiffTrax, and they have even riffed both non-Canon Dr. Who movies! We were treated to the over-the-top performance of Kenneth Branagh as Gilderoy Lockhart, a gigantic, ineffectual snake trap, a gigantic, ineffectual spider monster, and twenty-five minutes of the children cheering for Hagrid after the climax. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2008) - Time travel, werewolves that aren't Indians, and a brand new bellowing Dumbledore! It is more or less universally accepted that this is the best of all the Harry Potter movies, and I don't think it's too far fetched to say that this is also the best of all the Harry Potter riffs. It was included in the RiffTrax Starter Kit feature last year to represent the series. Head on over there and check out everything RiffTrax has to offer, whynot? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2010) - Edward Cullen showing up at Hogwarts and then getting killed by Ron's pet rat-man?! Sign me up! ...oh, also, there's the Tri-Wizard Cup and the return of Voldemort, but that's less important than chalkface getting zapped to death by rat-boy. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2011) - The fight against Voldemort begins as Harry starts an uprising at Hogwarts' new headmistress, Pink Carpet Dress Lady! And the cast damn near quadruples with characters who are seen and named maybe twice, and yet you're supposed to give a damn when they die in the last movie! Yay! Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2011) - Ron Weasley is a Quidditch star, crazy old men turning into furniture, and Dumbledore eats it! This, by far, was the most slow-moving, moody, wrist-slitting entry in the Harry Potter film series. But it didn't have to be wait long to be outdone in this regard... Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 (2013) - Here's Harry Potter 7 in a nutshell: Harry, Hermione and Ron walk around the woods and look sad. Next, Harry, Hermione and Ron walk around a city and look sad. Followed by Harry, Hermione and Ron walk around a bunch of rocks and look sad. And then, after a lengthy absence from the series, Dobby shows back up and dies horribly! YAY! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 (2016) - And, finally, Voldemort dies, Harry Potter and friends all grow old and ugly, but most importantly, the Quidditch stadium burned to the ground! BLESS YOU HARRY POTTER 8! BLESS YOU! ...honestly, why the hell did THAT have to be two movies? And that's it! 8 Harry Potter movies! 8 Harry Potter riffs! Will there ever be another series so extensive as to warrant 8 entries in the RiffTrax library? If so, a happy Avada Kedavra to whoever is making the damn thing! Taffy was a Welshman, everybody. Category:Harry Potter Category:RiffWiki.net